Where Am I Now?

I have not blogged since 2014, and that is a long time ago! Since then I know I have grown as a teacher, and especially as a learner. I feel that the craving for new understandings of teaching and learning have brought me back to school, myself. I am found myself going to Twitter to re-connect and connect with educators from around the world to deepen my learning.

I felt myself becoming disengaged from what teaching means to me. It is easy to get caught up in the negativity, and the frustrations around implementations of re-designed curriculum, new reporting templates, and the needs of each individual student. However, the negative feelings I was having was not around any of those, in fact I found that was what was inspiring me to get back to myself.  I soon began reflecting on what was dragging me down and causing me to second guess my career.

I am not one to shy away from change or a challenge. I believe that diving into the re-deigned curriculum and CSL (communicating student learning AKA the report card) was a downfall for me. Yes, it was invigorating and exciting to tackle the new challenges, and yes I loved the “new curriculum’ very much. I loved it so much I was put into a role to promote it and help others with it, and that is where I felt myself getting dragged down.

I was no longer a proponent for the re-designed curriculum but more of a defender. I found when I did workshops or Pro D in services for my staff I was on the defense, a place that I am not overly comfortable with.  I try to make myself available to others whenever I can to help, however I was getting pulled into rooms and being told, I have a question about the new curriculum and then BOOM! Within seconds I was being attacked for believing in it.

Now, this happened many times, and I did persevere and slowly I had others coming to me for collaboration.  Over time, I felt myself becoming disengaged with professional development, which I love. I realized I had to focus on my own professional development and let go of what others were doing or not doing with the new curriculum.

My journey back into Twitter came to me because I realized I needed to be engaged again. I wanted to get back to why I do what I do, and love it! It was a few weeks when I started looking into going back to school, to complete my masters. I am so fortunate to have friends and colleagues who  pushed me to do this for me.  I feel inspired again, and on days that I am feeling dragged down I know that Tuesday nights will always be there to lift me up again.

This journey I am on is an exciting one for me. I see that I am wanting change on a bigger scale than my classroom, like during my TLTC journey.  I need to think of how am I going to inspire change, to promote change and empowerment to all learners, note I said learners, which means all of us not just the students.

 

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